We step out for people, for our family, and for our friends with great intentions and sincere hope for them. Yes, our goal is to help. Our goal is to be a servant! The Lord truly knows our hearts. We do and then we do more, but it is as if our doing really causes more harm than good.
Yes, your heart is in the right place, but now you have gotten stuck in this ever lasting cycle and see no way out! How many of us would say yes to the following questions:
1. Have to bail out healthy, able adults
2. Support those who choose to not support themselves
3. Inconvenience yourself just to make sure someone else is not inconvenienced, and they don’t even care
4. Constantly feel manipulated
5. Have high hopes of another person changing their behavior and attitude to get on the right track
“Yes” is typically the answer we give to our family and friends in some form of our actions, but we must remember that saying no has its implications. NOT saying no has implications too! So ask yourself, “How do I break the cycle, and help others to help themselves?”
- Start saying no. For some people, borrowing money from family is a habit and the way they learn to handle stressful situations. You become their safety net.
- Instead of just handing over cash, assist with filling out any required forms for getting them needed assistance if applicable.
- Attend a financial planning seminar and help with development of a budget. Share coupons.
- Give a non-cash gift. This will allow you to have much more influence on how the funds are being utilized.
- Wait and allow. Even if you might be willing to help them out, waiting to give the borrower time to see if he/she can come up with a solution on their own is best.
- If you do decide to give, give with the intent that you will not get it back.
- Don’t play into their patterns.
- Set ground rules and stick to them. “This is a one-time only and I will not be able to continue doing this.” Make it clear!
- Say no to those buddies and/or deadbeat family members and friends who are dressed so well, but always need help making the car payment, rent, or gas bill.
- Establish financial boundaries. You are not their bank teller, personal ATM, or plan B.
Until Next Time, Be Sincere, Kind and Intentional
Community Outreach Specialist
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