The 12 New Year’s Resolutions – The Dog Barker

Happy New Year! Well, dog gone it! I have to dig up all my dog bones I hid in the back yard. The end of the world never came and I never got to show my Pet Parents how I saved them a bone or two to chew on with me when we ran out of food. Now, I’ve got to go through with my New Year’s resolutions.

New Year’s Resolutions:

1. I will seek rehab for my addiction to chewing on my Daddy’s boots and my Mama’s stockings.

2. Overhearing my Parents promising to get into shape, I think I will insist on more walks by barking incessantly, and shaking my leash at them until they comply.

3. I will try and not pee on the corners and shelves in my favorite Pet Store when my Parents aren’t looking.

4. I will bark at the mailman only once, but I can’t resist trying to chew on his leg and the other meter readers who come by my house.

5. I promise to refrain from jumping into the mud outside and coming back into the house, leaving a trail on the carpets or leaving my prints on my Parents. That is kinda fun though, because others see my prints on them and know that those are my Parents.

6. I will not drool and shake my drool all over the place when my Pet Parents are eating. But, they could share a bite or two! Maybe they will give me their food if I do shake drool into their plate. I may have to rethink this resolution.

7. I know, I know, I have repeatedly told Doggie Claus I would lay off the cat. The guy is so cute though. Especially, when his hair is all tufted up and he is hissing at me. Ooooh! That gets me going. But, for my seventh resolution I promise to chase the cat when others don’t see me. Then I can deny all, admit to nothing, demand proof, and make counter accusations.

8. My toys have been an issue as of late. I leave them everywhere and I always hear someone in the house yelling my name loudly. My Dad stepped on one of those spiked hard plastic bones, so, just to help, I will start leaving my toys in the open so they can be seen as someone walks through the house.

9. Ok, I do bark a lot when I see someone at our door. Most of the time I am just happy to see a new face. But, to help my Pet Parents with my barking, I will stop when they spray me with vinegar and water mix (1/3 vinegar to 2/3 water). Yuck!

10. I will share my love even more on days I have not bathed so my Pet Parents will remember me all day.

11. When someone’s birthday is being celebrated, I will refrain from slinking into the room when no one is looking and swiping some of that sweet icing.

12. In my home, my Parents leave books around and I like to try and read them. Who says I can’t learn from “digesting” them?! No one told me. I will refrain from eating the books since I cannot learn from them that way.

“Remember to love your dogs because they love you. Maybe not the way you want them to, like chewing up your favorite shoes or what not, but that is just love chewing. Be thankful for the time you have with them always.”