By: Lisa Philippart
For me, at least, 2020 started out well. It was the beginning of a new decade. I was in good health and life felt full of optimism and promise. This was going to be my year. Then COVID hit, and everything changed. In my counseling sessions, one of the things I tell my clients is that after something bad happens, ask two questions. First: What did I learn from this? And second: What do I need to do differently going forward? I have realized much this year about the world, about others, and most importantly about myself. These are my takeaways from 2020:
1. It’s okay to ask for help. From being stuck in your home, to asking someone to give you a ride, to carrying your groceries, to mowing your lawn, to praying for spiritual guidance…stop struggling to go it alone. People actually love to help. So don’t be afraid to seek kindness from others. You will be pleasantly surprised.
2. Breathe. The year 2020 gave us all sorts of reasons to worry. The pandemic created panic, which when allowed to invade your body, changes your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. When you learn to ground yourself, breathe into it and let go, things get much easier. Just taking a few moments daily to connect with your breath makes space for inner peace.
3. People need people. And not just virtually. We are social beings, and while some people have enjoyed working from home, there is nothing that can replace face-to-face interaction. This is called relationships, and most of us spend our lives seeking meaningful connections.
4. Get rid of toxins. Toxins can be internal as well as external. I have discovered that I feel better when I eat better. (Imagine that!) When we get rid of the toxic people in our lives, we find we are happier, more productive, and able to be ourselves. Each of us deserves to be with people who nourish not destroy us. Most likely, the world will not be the same again in your lifetime, so choose your company wisely.
5. Invest in your personal growth. This year allowed me to make/take the time to invest in enriching my life. Investing in yourself is not only self-improvement but it encourages others to invest in you too. This year was my opportunity to get back on the path of lifelong learning that I had always talked about doing.
6. Practice gratitude. As strange as it may sound, I am grateful for the oddness of this year. I continue to discover more about me and who I want to become. Writing in a gratitude journal creates the ritual of recognizing and appreciating yourself, others, and the beauty of the world around you.
7. Do the things you love. It’s time to stop waiting for the right time or making excuses. Find what excites you, or fills you with purpose, or creates meaning in your life. Even with a pandemic, or especially with a pandemic, you can allow yourself to spend time doing something you didn’t make time to do before.
8. Boundaries. I’ve always considered myself a nice person. But that trait opens the door for being taken for granted and resentment. Something 2020 has allowed me to accept is that NO is a complete sentence. This can be a hard lesson for some of us. My “house” now has a door that I can close, which allows me to choose those who enter.
9. Expect the unexpected. Duh! That is an understatement for 2020, isn’t it? There are some things you just cannot prepare for or control. So now is the time to ask, “What can I change looking ahead?” You may need to stop, start, assess, reassess, and then make decisions or choices the best that you can with what you know or have available.
Take some time to examine what you have learned from 2020…about yourself, others, and the world.
By: Philippart
Licensed Professional Counselor
