Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?!

Ever have guests over to your house and they bring their dog who is a “Holy Terror?” “Holy Terror,” (Joel’s definition) is a very rowdy, mud throwing, slobbering, jumping, pawing, begging, stealing while counter surfing, barking, tornado of destruction and terrorist to your own dog in the house. This dog is so untrained that when it is time for your guests to arrive, you are already taking Goody’s headache powders and calling me, frantically asking for quick counter measures. In this case, I applaud the use of taking a preventative to a migraine. Well, guess who’s coming to dinner? The holidays will soon be upon us, and it is my hope that this article will give some advance tidbits to prepare for canine guests.

“They’re heeerrree!” You say eerily, to warn everyone as you answer the door. First one through the door is the unleashed “Holy Terror” who runs straight to your dog. Your dog, being the age he is, rejects “Holy Terror’s” invitation to become best buddies. The Pet Parents of the dog, now ripping through your house, just smile and say things like, “Awe! How cute! He loves your house.” Then you hear the return of their dog and like nails on a chalkboard, you hear the distinct clawing of the dog’s nails on your nice finished hardwood floor. Remaining civil is one way to deal with the situation because you don’t want to offend your guests. But, what do you do?

Plan A: To deal with said situation is to ask your guests to please control their dog (Be careful how you ask someone to control their dog because it is easy to hurt some people’s feelings). At this point, I can imagine you want to scream at the unruly dog. Don’t do this because yelling and losing your temper will get you the “Have you lost your mind?!” look. Plus, the dog will most likely ignore what you are saying, so you just wasted your breath. If this tactic fails, then we go to plan B.

Plan B: This is the strategy of using a spray bottle or squirt gun (In my case a Super Soaker, hahaha) with the concoction of 1/3 vinegar to 2/3’s water. Set for stream and spray the unruly dog in the face. If your guests have an issue with this, spray them in the face for not taking the time to develop their Doggie Skills. If this fails, we can use plan C.

Plan C: Well, you call me 256-651-2211 and I will come to visit and help your guests see a better way and better dog. Besides, would it not be considerate of them to train their dog?
A lot of people don’t realize they are being inconsiderate when they bring their untrained dog or puppy. I always ask or warn that Zues will be with me and when someone has a problem with Zues, I either don’t visit or I try to accommodate the situation. So, let’s all try and work things out because soon it will be the season of forgiving and remembering all our loved ones. Gifts will be exchanged and everyone will be eating all sorts of goodies. Lastly, you might get lucky because “Holy Terror” might decide to bring back your slippers that he originally took when no one was watching. Hence, soaking his Pet Parents with vinegar and water can be a great remedy for you and their dog can laugh at them in his own way.
By: Joel Allen