Do you always tell yourself the truth? I’m going to guess that if most of you are like me, we can become good liars to ourselves. Over the past two months, I have tricked myself, I have told myself a lie.
Last month, I lost 3 pounds. It wasn’t as much as I had hoped for, but I was pleased with 3 pounds. You see, I had become lackadaisical in my approach to food. I had been diligent for so many months that I thought I could let myself not keep track of the food going into my body. I had done so well, that surely I didn’t need to remain on the straight and narrow. I had gone from one cheat day a month, to every weekend becoming a food free-for-all. During the week, I stuck with the plan, I ate good healthy food, but on the weekends all plans went out the window. Friday night through Sunday I was on the “See food Diet”; any food that my eyes might “see” I ate.
So when I went to the doctor this Monday, I was foolishly expecting to have lost a pound or so. I stepped on to the scales and much to my dismay, I had in reality gained 5 pounds. Have you ever picked up a 5 pound bag of sugar? That stuff’s heavy! My heart sank all the way to my toes. My eyes filled with tears, but I held it together. I slapped that fake smile on and made it all the way to the end of my doctor’s appointment. As soon as I shut the door to my car, the tears flowed down my checks. I was so disappointed in myself. I had tricked myself into believing I could be only partially committed and still win.
The whole evening I felt like such failure. I was so upset with myself. I cried and sulked all evening. I’m sure I was a pure joy to be around, just ask my husband. I knew that eating whatever I wanted had gotten me to the shape I was back in February; so why did I think that this time would be different? I told myself the lie that if I only did the right thing partially, I would be fine. I didn’t really have to account for everything that went in my mouth… just cheat a little bit…that one piece of cake won’t hurt you…eat the rolls, it’s fine.
Full commitment to change is just that, it takes full commitment. There is no halfway in life. You can’t walk on both sides of the path. You can’t serve two masters. You have to make a choice to determine which way you want to go. When you lie to yourself and allow yourself to continue to only make good choices 70 percent of the time, you can’t expect the results to be good.
So I’m back on the straight and narrow. I am not sure how I’m going to navigate the next two months. I have three Thanksgiving dinners to attend in November and four different Christmas celebrations. It’s going to be hard, but I know I can do it. I’m going to be committed to bringing food to the parties that I can enjoy and won’t make me feel guilty afterwards. I’m going to try and be happy and healthy through the holiday season. I hope you all can do the same.
The recipe this week is a version of cornbread that is delicious and feels super indulgent. It’s a great dish to bring to any Thanksgiving celebration without feeling deprived of the holiday food. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9