All Things Soldier: “Un” Of The Many Reasons To Defect From The North Korean Army

Kim Jong Un, the spoiled, young, megalomaniacal “diary-of-a-mad-buffoon” dictator of North Korea is known for a number of things, including starving his people, even his soldiers. The only members of the North Korean armed forces who are given enough to eat are those in the Special Forces. In order to survive, some soldiers sneak into China to get food and then sneak back into North Korea before they are shot for desertion. It is alleged that Kim feeds his troops as little as two potatoes a day, while Un, (shall we attempt to say kindly) struggles with his weight. The Sun, out of the UK, recently reported the following based on the accounts of those who have made it to the South:

“Half of those [of all ground troops] were returned home suffering from the effects of malnutrition.”

“Soldiers are given home leave to recover. Most are too weak to even walk by themselves, so their parents pick them up and feed them back to health.”

“When they improve they go back to the army.”

“The lucky ones serve in the special unit, or serve under good officers who take care of them.”

“The unlucky ones die of hunger before their parents have a chance to help them. The only thing these parents pray for is the safe return of their sons.”

Meanwhile, back at the “Pyongyang Ponderosa,” Un feeds his addiction to ultra-expensive Emmenthal Swiss cheese, which results in the incremental increase in the size of his waistline. He does so to the tune of nearly one million dollars a year, and with regard to his troops, they are Korean equivalent of “red-headed stepchildren.” He has also required that every other man in North Korea who was given the same name at birth as Kim change their name to something else so he can be the one and only Kim Jong Un.

Recently two North Korean soldiers defected to the South, which brings the number of North Koreans (both civilians and soldiers) who have risked life and limb for freedom to a number upwards of 30,000. This is no small feat, as the Demilitarized Zone has been filled with mines, “to keep South Korea out,” but everyone knows Un lined the DMZ with mines in order to keep everybody in place. One walked across the DMZ; the other swam across a river on a makeshift foam raft. Both surrendered to the South Koreans, and it is because of these two as well as the others that anyone has any understanding of just how bad it is. They are issued one set of summer clothes every two years, and allegedly their boots are so poorly made that it causes the wearer great pain. Nonetheless, the North Korean ground troops form one of the largest armies in the world, and the question is, how could they survive any ground-based offensives? The answer is that they could not, and apparently Mr. Un does not care, due to the fact that his sights are set on a nuclear offensive that will obliterate anyone who stands in his way.

Another very sad thing about the North Koreans is that they have been so brain-washed that those who have defected and have been “de-briefed” by South Koreans amply demonstrate a startling inability to follow any train of logic or produce logical assertions of their own. This was one of the ways Germans were controlled: literally your cognitive thinking skills devolve when you don’t have the proper type of nutrition to support the parts of the brain that were made to figure things out. Rape of female soldiers is routine and not prosecuted. I must admit I almost feel sorry for them. And if the French Revolution is any indicator of what could happen, Mr. Un just might say, “Let them eat kimchi” one too many times and wished he hadn’t.

Until then, may we pray he is nixed from getting handy with the nukes.
By: Ali Elizabeth Turner