A Letter To Doggie Claus – The Dog Barker

Dear Doggie Claus,

This is my second Christmas, and this year I realized what a bird was. My parents were not happy when I chased the birds out of the yard. I heard them screaming at me, but I was killing two birds with one stone, so to speak. I like chasing birds and my parents chasing me! Sure, when they caught me, I looked mournful as if I learned my lesson and would not do it again. That being said, could you bring a big bird feeder for our yard so I can bait and trap birds next year?

The Cat complained again this year, and as always I had to look at my parents with the “I didn’t do it” look! Then there’s the trusty, “I was set up!” And, the ever popular, “He has mistaken me for the neighbor’s dog.” Of course, they took his side. So, for a peace offering, could you get the Cat a catnip, fishing feather toy, so he can enjoy himself? I will of course be watching him play with it to ensure he is enjoying it. Should he get too slow with it, I promise to speed him up!

My chewing habits have gotten better. Instead of chewing in the open, now I chew on things in spots where it can’t be seen until it is found. The good thing about it is, like that show, Law and Order, they need proof to convict me of the crime. “That is not my teeth impression on the wood! What hole in the sheetrock?! That was already there when you brought me home! What do you mean the Cat doesn’t chew?!” So, I guess I need more toys.

I still walk proudly by my parents when they walk me. I need a new leash, though. I kinda nibbled the old one while they were taking too long browsing at things that bored me.

My patience has improved. Instead of swallowing one of my parent’s whole hands down to their elbow in my mouth when they offer me a treat, I gently take it now. However, it was fun seeing the look of shock and the hollering about spitting out their arm that kept things fun. Can you bring me a huge meat log that can be cut up and refrigerated in a zip lock baggie? I promise to only nibble their fingertips for the yummies this year.

My bed you brought me last year was awesome! Now, I would like another to match. That way, I can have my own fresh linen while my other bed is washed. Else, I will have to start reverting back to sneaking into my parents’ bed again. After all, it is the love I leave, not the smell and hair of my presence that counts.

Once again, my year has been an awesome experience, Doggie Claus, and should there be anything I didn’t cover, like bones and food, could you please surprise me and bring me some? Thanks, and Merry Christmas!

Love Sincerely,

Everybody’s Favorite Canine Family Member

“Remember to love your dogs because they love you. Maybe not the way you want them to, like chewing up your favorite shoes or what not, but that is just love chewing. Be thankful for the time you have with them always.”
By: Joel Allen