A Letter To Doggie Claus – Dog Barker

Dear Doggie Claus,
I have been a really good Canine Family Member this year. You might have heard rumors of my experiences, as I have grown this year. But I assure you that was not me chasing the cat. I just so happen to be going his way and the cat just ran. Sure, he got a mild concussion from running into a wall, but the Vet says he will be fine. That is one tough cat. Maybe we can chase the laser light together if you bring us one for Christmas?

Let’s talk about that nasty rumor of my chewing habits. My Pet Parents didn’t know for sure I did that! They blamed me, even when I pointed at the cat. I even tried my “puppy dog eyes” and that bit of kryptonite didn’t work. I got the finger pointed at me and I heard the word “BAD” anyway. Ok, I admit the shoes tasted good and that electrical cord can be reattached. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. In the end, they broke me of chewing by applying this nasty tasting bitter spray to my mouth and then when I attempted to chew something I liked, it tasted just like that “yucky” stuff. Mom and Dad sneaked around and applied that stuff to all my favorite chewing sites. At least in the end I got a little more attention. Could you convince them to get me more toys to chew on?

Then there was the time that I believed that inside the house was my bathroom to use where I liked. I had it made when they were gone. It’s when they returned and found that my bathroom didn’t flush away my mess like theirs did that I was in trouble. So, like a good dog I listened to the scolding and felt bad for my deeds. Eventually, after much trial and error I succeeded in choosing the right bathroom (outside). There are still times when I want to go in the house but I still manage to wait for their return. So, for future needs, can you give me a “potty patch” for indoor use when I am left alone for too long?

Ok, so they say I pulled the leash some this year. Well, everything was new to me then. I didn’t know what a leash was. I just knew that all these new smells and people were there for me to pull Mom and Dad to. According to them, I was not supposed to behave like that. So, they took me to a trainer and “WOW” he spoke my language. My Parents and I learned how best to communicate while training. Then, I was taught the “Heel” command. At first, I did not like this command. But, now I don’t drag Mom and Dad everywhere. I sure miss running and hearing them scream behind me as I caused them to fly through the air. Who needs the Wright Brothers when you have me? So, in light of this, I would like a new collar and leash.

Yes, I can be impatient. I do charge for my treats and food dish occasionally. Hey! That’s what I do best. So, I jumped every now and again and caused my Pet Parents to wear some of my dinner? They took too long. I found that later I would regret that because, I found myself in the embarrassing position of sitting and waiting to eat. Then, to add salt to my wounds of embarrassment, I had to look them in the eye before I was allowed to eat. Now, I would like a new dog dish for eating and could it be made out of metal?

Then there was the time I was caught sneaking into my Pet Parents bedroom and getting on their bed. It was so soft and I left hair everywhere just for them. It was my way of spreading my hairy love. Of course, they really didn’t understand and I found myself in trouble again. So, for future reference could you leave them a note explaining why I did that and attach it to my new bed that I am asking you to bring me?

My year has been an awesome experience, Doggie Claus, and should there be anything I didn’t cover like bones and food. Could you please surprise me and bring me some? Thanks and Merry Christmas!

Love Sincerely,
Everybody’s Favorite Canine Family Member

“Remember to love your dogs because they love you. Maybe not the way you want them to, like chewing up your favorite shoes or what not, but that is just love chewing. Be thankful for the time you have with them always.”
By: Joel Allen